Monday, March 8, 2010

Worlds Apart, But Together: A Poem

Destruction is within every word she speaks,

So she says nothing.

Chaos is in everything she hears,

So she decides not to listen.

Hatred is in everything she sees,

So she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

In her dreams, can she only experience true bliss.

Creation is within every word he speaks,

So he never stops talking.

Music is always what he hears,

So he always listens,

Love is in everything he sees,

So he never wants to fall asleep.

In his nightmares, can he only experience true horror.

Dark mirrors in their dreams,

Girl and boy,

Look onto each other’s side,

And would rather live in the other’s mind.

The boy would wish to sleep,

The girl would wish to live.

Both would be in peaceful harmony if they were to switch.

However, the dark mirror that separated their worlds would not break,

No matter how hard they pounded their fists,

No matter how hard they kicked their feet,

No matter how much they screamed,

It would not shatter.

They were stuck in their own shoes,

They were stuck in their own worlds,

They were stuck with whatever they had,

But at least they had each other.


Anonymous said...

You have asked me to review your poetry and give you some feedback. I for one am not an expert of any kind. I am still feeling my own way through the world of writing myself. I can honestly say that I love the darkness and longing of this piece. You have great potential and If you want to learn rhythm and "voice" then I suggest that you read the classic poets like Poe, Wadsworth, Dickinson and even Walt Whitman. You can find them on, or I read modern poets too but I tend to gravitate more towards the classical. If you love a certain poet's style then study it. I personally like to take on many voices, different persona. I don't like to lock myself into one way of writing. That is the beauty of it.

Practise, pull apart your words and combine them in ways that are unique to you. You can rhyme, not rhyme or write in spoken word. Experiment with form like Haiku or Acrostics, etc. You will have to find what is best for you. I use and RhymeZone online. Also, think of poetry as a story to tell in fewer words, a capture of a moment and imagine yourself within that world. Go with your gut. If a word or phrase or even the entire poem doesn't feel right, then work on it until it does. That is what I do. I feed off my emotions.

Hopefully this will help in some way even if it is a small one. I will definitely read more.

Vatche said...

Thank you, Owning the Words, for giving me some feedback on my poetry. :D

I will definitely take your advice and read some more of Poe, Wordsworth, Dickinson, and Walt Whitman. I will try to follow the rules of some poem styles and try to break the boundaries of others. Like writing prose, one must practice poetry, so you are right.

Thank you for everything and write on!

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