Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Most Interesting Man in the World


He lives vicariously through himself. He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish. His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards. He can speak French in Russian. He never says something tastes like chicken—not even chicken. He's been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room. His blood smells like cologne. He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels. His organ donor card also lists his beard. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number. He is the most interesting man in the world,” I listened to the Dos Equis commercial on the radio. Everyone has at least seen it once or heard about it. As I imagined all the weird stuff this guy has supposedly done, I also began to think about who was the most interesting person I’ve ever met.

I scratched my head and that’s when it hit me. “Steve. Steve Lassos is probably one of the most interesting.” He probably wasn't like the most interesting person in the world, but he was the most interesting person in my world.

Steve is a barber, my barber, at De Castilian Hairstyling. When I first met him, he told me he knew a bunch of random facts, because he could never sleep at night. He is meant to sleep on the other side of the world, because he just can’t wake up in the mornings and sleep at night.

I shook his hands firmly, two years ago, as he introduced himself. “You can call me, Steve or Mr. Wikipedia,” he gave a heart-warming laugh, “which ever one you prefer, of course.”

As he would cut my hair, I would ask him, “What are you reading now?”

He would tell me of the Sleeping Prophet, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, the Chariot of the Gods, Newton’s Bucket, and research on other dimensions. When I took my haircut at other places, I used to dread talking to the person cutting my hair. They would always focus on something dull and trivial like school, homework, and road trips.

Don’t I get enough of that from my parents?

Just this week I got my haircut and I was talking to Steve about writing a novel on aliens. I could see in his eyes that he already began going through the file cabinets in his mind, “You should go see a movie by Steven Spielberg called Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It should help you with your novel.”

“I will definitely rent it from Blockbuster this weekend,” I told him with a smile as I looked at my weird hairstyle in the mirror, because my haircut was halfway done. “I’m going to have the characters meet up at Roswell, because that’s where it all started.”

“Sounds like a perfect script for a movie to me,” he added as he cut away the remnants of my old hairstyle. “You know, speaking of Roswell, you should check out this guy, Jesse Marcel. He’s a military official, who worked on the cover-up operation for Roswell. He wrote a book, actually, right before he died of cancer. He figured that since he was going to die anyway, he would write the truth. What could the government possibly do to him that’s worse, eh?”

“Yeah,” I agreed as tiny pieces of brown hair flew in front of my eyes and onto the tile floors.

“So, check up on that. Where are the aliens from, in your story?” Steve took out a blow-dryer.

“I think I’m going to have them be from another dimension.”

He cut off the power to the blow-dryer. “You know, maybe you should have them be from another galaxy or planet, because people are still trying to grasp the whole dimension concept. It’ll be easier on you to write that they came from another galaxy, because there are actually facts on that.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, especially since the whole Stephen Hawking incident.” I nodded my head as he finished blow-drying my hair.

My haircut was complete, our conversation finished, and Steve already had his next customer waiting. I stepped outside of the barbershop saying my goodbyes to Steve and all the other barbers. I walked into the world with not only a new haircut, but also a new load of topics to research because of one man. Steve. One of the most interesting people in the world that I know.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

wtf? you havent seen close encounters of the third kind? what the hell is wrong with you?

-Rafi

Vatche said...

No, Rafi, I have yet to see Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but I really want to. It's a high priority right now, so don't worry!

Anonymous said...

"no" only answers one of my three questions, vatche. pfft

-Rafi

Paul L. Martin said...

I agree with Rafi, Vatche. And if you like "Close Encounters," there are these other neat movies called "Star Wars"...

Just kidding. I hate when barbers talk to me, so this guy sounds like a treat. Sometimes we meet interesting people in the weirdest places.

Good post. I can't wait for you to get your hair cut again so we can hear another chapter about "what's going on in Steve's head..."

Thanks for leading the discussion today, by the way.

Vatche said...

Rafi, I don't consider "wtf?" a question really, sorry. As to answer the last question, "what the hell is wrong with you?", I seriously don't know at times.

Mr. Martin, no problemo for leading the discussion; it was seriously my pleasure. I can't wait for my haircut either, Steve is truly an amazing guy with an amazing amount of knowledge. He is interesting not because of the things he's done, though I'm sure he has done a lot of amazing things, but he is amazing to me because of his vast amount of knowledge. You're right, we do meet "interesting people in the weirdest places." I'll definitely check out not only "Close Encounters...", but also "Star Wars", as well.

Thanks for commenting!

Anonymous said...

"I seriously dont know at times." that implies that you DO know sometimes, and if you DO know then why dont you tell us. this IS a blog, why not make one of them about all the things wrong with you. thatll be hilarious

P.S. it has always been one of my life's ambitions to understand the story of star wars chronologically.

-Rafi

Vatche said...

We all have our faults, Rafi. I don't know if I'll ever post a list of my faults; if I do, I'll be sure to let you to be the first to know. It is also one of my life ambitions to understand the story of Star Wars and what makes it epic. Thanks for the comment again!

Lourdes said...

I enjoyed reading this post; the way you tell it was interesting. It's amusing.

Did you watch Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind?

And yes, Star Wars makes more sense when you watch it from Episode I-VI; Make time to enjoy one of the greatest science fiction movies ever made and then you can start laughing at watching Robot Chicken (Star Wars parody) it'll all make sense to you!

Vatche said...

I'm glad you enjoyed my post, Lourdes. I appreciate your comment and thoughts on the piece, so thank you. As for Close Encounters...I have yet to obtain a copy of the movie, I'm going to go check my local library for a DVD of it.

As for Star Wars, I should invest time in that, as well. So much to do, so little time. I have to read the greatest writers, watch the greatest movies, and live my life. If only I didn't need to sleep, more things would be accomplished.

I will probably check out Robot Chicken's Star Wars parodies after I watch Star Wars, too. It seems like a funny television show.

Thank you, again and write on, Lourdes!

Anonymous said...

Wow, great entry! Very concise and well-written. I want to know more about your barber! Hopefully you can write a follow-up article soon.

Vatche said...

Thank you for your awesome words, Anonymous. Actually, there is a follow-up article on Steve titled "The Infinite Ladder", so check that out if you can.

I visit Steve just to talk every week, so I'll see if I can come up with any more posts about our discussions.

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