Monday, July 12, 2010

The Lover's Embrace: A Poem


(This is some unedited, raw poetry that I wrote as soon as I woke up this morning. I had a dream about these two lovers dancing the night away. Read on to hear their story.)


Right now.
Their hands lock together and embrace,
Like Destiny or Fate,
They dance like lovers,
They dance together,
They dance forever.

The woman with long, black braids,
Wishes to stay,
Interlocked forever,
So the moment will last,
So that she may spend eternity with her man,
They dance the moonlight away.

The man with the scuffled beard,
Always wanted to see her,
His dance partner,
Exactly in this way,
Dancing the night away.

Together they danced,
Swinging legs and joining hands,
Forever they wished it would last,
Not only did their hands intertwine,
But also their hearts, souls, and minds,
As they danced the night away,
In some unknown pub in Spain.

He fell in love,
And so did she,
But she was trapped under the guard of her family,
Watchful eyes continued to stare,
And he did not care,
He would take her away from them,
Even if in their eyes he was condemned
To never be with her.

He led her down one way,
Swept her off her feet,
Tried to run away,
But her family came,
Pointed guns in his face,
Told him that it was a warning,
The only warning he will receive,
They took her away,
And made him feel ashamed,
But he would not give up,
Though it seemed abrupt,
He came up with a plan,
So that girl would always be in his hands.

He snuck her away,
During the night,
While everyone was asleep,
He wanted to take her out to sea.

A boat waited for the two lovers,
They ran under new names, undercover,
In disguise,
They were still recognized,
By her family,
Who had chased them there,
They pulled out the gun,
A shot was heard,
All was silent then,
When the two lovers interlocked hands again,
The woman was shot dead,
Because she stood in the man’s way,
Saved his life,
But he couldn’t live without her,
So he took the family’s gun,
Said he was done,
Said his goodbyes to this world,
And welcomed the afterlife.

The hammer was cocked,
The bullet was shot,
He held her cold, white hands,
The ones he used to hold when they danced,
Interlocked like Fate or Destiny,
Here the lovers be,
Dancing forever,
Holding hands,
Twisted hands now lie on the sea’s sands,
Both had died for each other,
Their hands interlocked,
From one lover to another.

What's your favorite type of dance? Slow dancing? Fist-pumping? Tango? Have you had any dreams that turned into stories, poems, or other pieces of writing?

22 comments:

The Words Crafter said...

Makes me think of a sort of mafia flavored Romeo and Juliet...I haven't had dreams, but I've had visions that became poems....really very good for raw! If you get a chance, come visit my blog a sec...

Tabitha Bird said...

Mmmm... lovely. The images were so clear.

Dancing? Anything really. Though something with a beat is more likely to get me moving.

Terresa said...

I agree with the first comment (by The Words Crafter) -- your poem reminded me of a type of Romeo & Juliet!

My dreams seep into my writing sometimes. Great stuff can be absorbed from dreams and funneled into the written word. I keep a notebook & pen on my nightstand for such occasions.

PS: I like all kinds of dancing, it is one of the best forms of exercise, next to yoga & walking & hiking, IMO.

PPS: You know the routine..."Write on!"

Jayne said...

Aw... a lovely story unfolded in that poem. Most unexpected as well. Nicely done!

As for me, I love dancing. Anything really - although lindy-hop is a favourite for me.

Piedmont Writer said...

Wowee! Very intriguing. Very emotional.

I love the waltz. It's so seductively sedate.
Or sedately seductive.

Janet Johnson said...

I'm with The Words Crafter . . . I thought of a modern Romeo and Juliet, too.

I actually love country swing. :)

Elisabeth said...

For some reason I think of Edgar Allen Poe and the beautiful Annabel Lea.

Thanks, Vachte. A powerful poem.

Nehha N Josshi said...

Picturesque! I have a feeling that you love the stories that have a brutal romance and a sad ending with a hope of positivity. I suggest you watch the movie "Kites"(english). You might like it:)

VR Barkowski said...

I can't write poetry, so I'm in awe. Can't believe this is raw - love the imagery, it's very powerful.

My favorite dance is wherever the music takes me. I don't want to think about steps, getting it right or what I look like. I only want to feel the music in my soul.

Amanda Sablan said...

Lovely poem.

I'm a terible dancer (really, very terible) but slow dances seem to be rife with meaning so I like those.

Vatche said...

Hey, The Words Crafter!

I know how you can think of Romeo and Juliet and the whole mafia bit, too. After I woke up a little, I realized it did had some flavors of Romeo and Juliet in there.

Thanks for your kind words and I did get a chance to visit your blog. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AWARDS, I'm eternally grateful!

Write on and love on!

Vatche said...

Hello, Tabitha!

I'm glad the images were so clear. I'm working on my imagery at the moment in my writing, so that it becomes crisp and clear in the reader's mind. To put the reader in the time and place of the characters is my ultimate goal when writing.

I'm also like you when it comes to dancing. I will dance to anything with a good beat.

Write on and dance on!

Vatche said...

Hey, Terresa!

A lot of my dreams seep into my writing, but I rarely dream and most often blackout. I always keep a notebook, post-its, and pens on my desk when I'm sleeping, in case I have a dream for a story idea whenever the chance comes around.

I love dancing, too, though I'm always nervous about it in the beginning. I usually loosen up after an hour of freaking out on the dance floor.

As always, write on!

Vatche said...

Hello, Jayne!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story within the poem. It brings me great joy to know that you've enjoyed.

As for the unexpected twists, I've always loved incorporating them within my stories. Most of the times, twists come naturally out of my mind and onto the paper. I don't even realize it's a twist until the very end, so I'm just as surprised as you.

I love to dance, as well. It's great exercise!

So, write on and dance on!

Vatche said...

Hey, Piedmont Writer!

I try to put as much interest, intrigue, and emotion in my poetry as I can. The dream was an emotional one, as well.

As for the waltz, I love it since it's nice, slow, and smooth. You're right that it is sedately seductive and seductively sedate.

Write on and waltz on!

Vatche said...

Hello, Janet!

Everyone seems to agree, including myself, that this is some twist of Romeo and Juliet. I actually thought of putting the words "Romeo" and "Juliet" in the poem, but eventually decided not to.

As for the country swing, I've never tried to do it, but it sure looks like fun. The next time I'm on the dance floor, I'll definitely try it out.

Write on and dance on!

Vatche said...

Hey, Elisabeth!

For once, there's someone who didn't think of Romeo and Juliet. A twist on the tale between Edgar Allen Poe and Annabel Lea though, that's definitely a different take.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it was powerful. I tried to make it as powerful and as meaningful as I can. So, thank you for your kind words.

Write on!

Vatche said...

Hello, Nehha!

I'm overjoyed that you thought of the poem as picturesque. I actually love all types of stories as long as it's a good one, whether it be romance, horror, or comedy. I will definitely check out that movie, Kites.

Write on!

Vatche said...

Hey, VR! Thank you for becoming a follower!

As for writing poetry, I used to really suck at it until I practiced and practiced. I'm sure that you would be great at poetry if you tried it.

Yes, it is all raw, and that's how most of my poetry is actually. I rarely do edits, but this one was rather clean when I brought it to life. No edits whatsoever.

I feel the same about dancing as you do. I don't count steps or anything and just dance the way the music flows through my body.

Write on and let the music flow!

Vatche said...

Hello, Amanda!

Thanks for your kind words.

I really suck at dancing too; at least, that's what I believe. My friends say that I'm pretty good, but I'm still self-conscious about the way I dance. Slow dancing is awesome, if you ask me. I always love a good slow dance every once in a while.

Write on and dance on!

Anonymous said...

"Scuffled"? WTF man, learn to speak English.

Vatche said...

Actually, "scuffled" is an English word Anonymous, which means to struggle. I think perhaps the word I was looking for was "scruffy."

Anyway, thank you for pointing out that mistake, but this is supposed to be raw, unedited, so I cannot change it.

I am thankful for your keen eyes though.

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