I don’t understand how they do it, how video game characters or characters in books can travel from world to world without feeling anything of what they left behind in another. I’m traveling in between two worlds myself right now. My home in Los Angeles and my home in Irvine. Both of which I’m sometimes stuck in.
When I came home this weekend to LA, I felt no feeling of going back to Irvine anytime soon like I usually do, because I’ve been going through some tough times. In Irvine, I’ve been through disputes, midterms, mountains of homework, talks with friends, laughter and tears, partying, sleep deprivation, sleep talking, and so much more. I couldn’t handle the weight of it all, so I decided to come back home and recharge. I came back home to be safe.
Here in LA, I’m reminded of all the things I’ve left behind for the new world in Irvine. A family, my best friends, a comfortable shower, family dinners, and knowing the area where I grew up in, but it wasn’t all roses and sunshine here either. There were fights between friends, family problems, issues with money, education, career goals, and some of the same things I had in Irvine. I had two worlds that had things that were equally bad and equally good in them.
Where was the middle ground? Where could I be safe from all these things and not feel the weight of the world on my shoulders? Where I could put myself up in a little ball and just forget about everything? How could they—anyone— handle any of that pressure?
Then, I knew. They were heroes. They had nothing to lose, because the most important thing to them had already been lost or taken away. That is why they travel. That is why they move in between worlds without any regret. They have a set goal in mind. Then, what was my goal? How could I keep from going insane?
I’ve realized that I’m no video game character, that I’m no hero, and that I have to face these things head-on every day of my life for the rest of my life, but I just got to keep on walking. What was my reason for moving into another world, the world known as Irvine? It was to become a better writer and take my skills and what little I knew about writing and make a name in the writing world by starting somewhere. If high school was level one of the game, then college is level two. Only a few hundred more levels to go. As long as I keep fighting, as long as I know my true goal, then I will keep myself sane through all the madness in between jumping through these worlds back and forth.
All the pressures that come with moving away from home and into college have hit me, one way or another. There are probably still more that are going to come my way, but I’m sure I’ll survive them in the end. If life was full of success, then what would be the point of living? I’ve realized that I’ve been knocked to the ground by a lot of things in these worlds, but now all I have to do is one thing: get up.