Monday, March 7, 2011

The Love Shot


Here's a spoken word piece that I performed earlier today for an open-mic. This is my first spoken-word piece ever and it touches on a very personal thing that happened to me awhile ago. A video of my performance will be up soon and thanks to the Uncultivated Rabbits for the videos and everything! 

I am addicted and want to get off,
Go cold turkey and stop
From this drug that is you.
The way it begins is through a simple thought:
I want to talk to you,
Get to know you,
See you in a different light than any other person in this world and in this room,
Make you my friend,
Make you into something more than just another relationship,
Treat you right unlike any other guy,
Just like this,
Blood begins to run in my veins faster than any other highway,
And every time I see you smile it’s like a diamond’s shine,
And every time you speak, your voice is a sweet melody to my ears
And always something I wish to hear,
Like the way you wish me a good night or a good day
Even though I want to stay awake
And never go to sleep
Because I want to always be with you.
No dream or fantasy can compare to the reality
Of having pillow talks and sweet whispers
Of lying in the grass among flowers
Of skipping stones and breaking the spines of leaves as we walk down these streets linking hands
And wishing that time can stop so we can live in this moment forever.

However, like I said, I want to get off,
I want to live,
Go back to the way it was before
But I can’t handle it anymore,
Can’t handle the constant thoughts
Can’t the handle the constant knots
In my stomach
The heavy breathing that goes on deep inside my lungs,
Because I can’t bear the thought of knowing that you are a cheat.
You tore my heart into shreds
And as I'm thinking of all those memories that are being washed down a drain that is already clogged with a million different other things,
I ask myself: How can you do this to me?

I can’t sleep or eat without thinking of how we used to be together 
And your favorite foods on plastic spoons driven into your mouth by my guiding hand,
And I can’t be in the same room with you even for a second or I’ll get mad
Because just the mere thought of seeing you will make me explode into a fit of rage 
Because I knew we had something
And you lost it,
Like a gift I have given you, you took my heart, and ended up breaking it like a cheap toy,
And now, I am just another boy, lost and now alone on this road with no one else,
But I’ll find my way by myself,
Because wasn’t that how I started in the beginning?

So, I walk down the path of forgetting all that we had and all that used to be,
Go down the reverse way of Memory Lane,
Wipe those streets clean
And tear down that pedestal that I built for you
And now, you’re just another girl too.
Another girl in my eyes and just walking by
Down the street or across that corner
And not a girl I can believe in any longer
Because of the way you treated me and threw me away
Told me we could still be friends but erased me off the face of the planet
So, now it's my turn to erase you.

You can keep my boxers, my shirts, my necklaces, and all those materialistic things
But I request one thing back:
My heart.
Which I gave to you from the start,
Which wasn’t probably a good idea
But, we all make mistakes, right?
So, I’ll take back that beating thing
Get it off your hands
Because frankly I don’t think you deserve it
For beating it into a pulp the way that you did,
So, thanks for all that—scratch that, there are no thank you’s for what you did,
There are only you’s because you were the problem to begin with,
There’s no good in my good bye’s either because there was nothing good about it,
Because you left me a broken man,
So just leave
From my sight and from my mind,
Go away forever
And walk down that same road that I walked for
For so many years
Trying to figure out what I did wrong
When it was all along
Your fault.

I am off the drug that they call love
But I revisit it every once and again
Seeing that cute girl in the corner of my eye
And instead
Of wishing to be with that girl that I had before,
I will talk to this other girl 
Just for a moment and speak one or two words
Maybe a “Hi” or a “Hey”
Wave my hand and maybe develop something by the end of the day,
But you know, I still wear my heart on my sleeve
So I have to be wary
Keep my eyes in their sockets,
Make sure my adrenaline doesn't skyrocket
And tuck that broken glued-together heart,
Somewhere this new girl can’t see
So, I put it back in me, where it belongs, in its place,
Underneath my skin, my nerves endings, and inside that forest of bones,
And never to be shown
So easily ever again,
But will be released and she will amend
All those things that the first girl took away and crushed,
I’ll let her inside
And have her play operation with my heart and mind,
Because there’s no way I’m just going to give them to her.
She has to release it and grasp it gently
Because there’s a chance that it might escape from her hands
But I’m sure it will be in her grasp for awhile
If she knows how to treat me right, the road that we walk won’t have to be alone or won’t be for miles and miles,
So, together we’ll be on this drug for a while 
And feel what they call love
The intensity and emotion of it all,
The twists and turns
Spirals, laughter, and rug burns,
And we will learn about each other in more ways than one
So please give me a shot of that drug that they call love--
Again.


1 comments:

Nehha N Josshi said...

Sigh.....!!!

"So, together we’ll be on this drug for a while" ....amazing!

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