Monday, February 28, 2011

Open-Mic

Hey, I'm back online! Sorry for the delays but I finally fixed my computer (and defeated all the ninjas I could find). I'll get right on back to commenting on blogs and being more active here on the Student Writer's Mind.

So, I've also joined a spoken-word/poetry group on campus here at UC Irvine known as Uncultivated Rabbits and they had an Open-Mic not too many weeks ago. I performed a piece of mine that I wrote that very same day that you've probably already read, but here's the performance at Open-Mic! I hope you enjoy and let me know on what I can improve on, because it's very important to me to get feedback.

Thank you for your patience and everything else!

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naws2bKQHHw

Monday, February 21, 2011

Technical Difficulties (3)


My computer has no internet and a lot of other problems, so for a week or so I will be out trying to fight the nasty ninjas that implanted something in my computer to stop it from working, destroy their home base, fight the evil ninja overlord, and obtain the secret into getting my computer to work again. Until then, please enjoy some of my older posts.

Vatche runs away into the darkness and becomes one with the shadows. "Time to kick some ninja ass!"

Police Commissioner Gordon appears in the background along with his son watching Vatche run away. "What is he, dad?" Gordon's son asks his father while staring into the dark alley.

"He's not Batman, that's for sure," he says bluntly, "but an average guy just trying to save his computer from evil ninjas." Gordon puts his hand over his child's head. "Let's go home."

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Succubus: A Poem


Feelings for a girl
That I wish to squeeze into a ball
So small
That my feelings are almost all gone,
Bounce it against a wall
Let it fall,
Maybe never see it again,
Do anything with those feelings
Besides having them inside of my head.

She plays hard to get,
I can’t stand it
When she calls and leaves messages
And wants to talk
But never picks up
When I call her
I hear the dial tone ring
But no one’s answering.
Beep. Beep.
An incessant beep
Is all I hear
Instead of her tranquil voice
Next to my ear.
Where could she be?

I got to stop
And think
What the heck am I doing,
Imagining
All these possibilities,
And fantasies and dreams
Are no longer
As good as reality
That idea planted
Of only being with her.

Does this period
In this text,
This tiny little spec
Mean that our talking is done?
Or she loves to screw with my mind?
How do I end this infatuation
And obsession?
Crap, I should answer this next question
That she sent
And reply
As soon as I can,
What was it that she hated?
What was it that she said?
Am I the one leading or am I the one being led?

Smiley faces and emotion icons
Exclamation marks
And typing so fast,
Fingers have no time to relax,
All I can think of hearing her next words
And hanging out with her,
But does she do this with all the other guys?

She grins sheepishly
When she’s around me,
I can’t stand--
But fall for her,
Her and her spontaneous attitude,
Those green whirlpools that she calls eyes
I can’t help but look at them
As they take me away.
The smell of her perfume drives me insane
Because it reminds me of those summer strawberry fields
And all those summer days,
And her humming is pure bliss,
Is she a succubus?

Whenever she’s near
I try to breathe
But can’t help but feel those very same vortexes
In her skull,
The things we call eyes,
And I’ve realized
That those windows to the soul,
Take not only my breath away
But a lot more.

She plays these mind games
Smashes my brain like clay
Tries to form it,
But I can’t let her take control,
I can’t let her change me,
I am who I am
But why is it that I can’t feel anymore
And all I do is react
Instead of act
Out of my own intentions
Out of my own mind,
I hear the phone ring,
I hear the answering machine
And her voice being recorded
The file cabinets in my mind are all now sorted
To see that she is tricking me
Into believing that she is the only one,
But now all of this is done.

So I click the button,
“Erase,”
And say goodbye to the girl
I once knew.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A Mental Snack (51)



Share your thoughts...


"An essential element of any art is risk. If you don't take a risk then how are you going to make something really beautiful, that hasn't been seen before? I always like to say that cinema without risk is like having no sex and expecting to have a baby. You have to take a risk." ~ Francis Ford Coppola


What is your art and what risks do you take to make it something really beautiful? 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Your Valentine: A Poem


My love can never be expressed in any cards,
No petals or roses can ever be enough,
Chocolates of any kind wouldn’t suffice
Because all the stars in the universe
Wouldn’t amount to the number of butterflies
In my stomach
For you.

Can you hear it?
The fast, skipping beats of a heart,
My heart,
I can hear yours too.

They say that if they skip to the same beat
That we are each other’s soul mates.
How many times did I wish for this moment?
She loves me or she loves me not,
Throwing away the petals of every flower I can find
Until I saw you
And in your eyes
I saw the passion,
I saw the world,
I saw the beauty of the universe,
And I started to understand all those songs and poems
I started to understand all those things about love,
Because at that one glance
I took the chance
To say, “Hello.”

We met
Had some awkward moments
Here and there,
Silences that I couldn’t bare
Because at all those times,
I really wanted to kiss you
Just to fill the void,
And when we did finally kiss,
I didn’t need to breathe any longer
Because I can feel your life, your energy,
Becoming mine,
And my energy, my life
Becoming yours,
Intertwining in each others arms,
We were one.

The soft touches across each other’s necks,
The way our fingers danced in each other’s hairs,
The smiles and laughs as our bodies crashed
Into another realm better than being awake or in a dream,
A serene place,
Where only lovers can be.

So, today,
I wish you the happiest of Valentine’s Days,
Not with anything in hand,
Except for my heart,
Even though I give it to you everyday,
And you give it back,
But now it officially belongs to you,
Because no one can express my love but me,
No cards, flowers, or candies,
No balloons, animals, or restaurants
Even the greatest of the great
Could ever be enough for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day
And I love you.

What was the best Valentine's Day gift you've ever gotten? What's the best Valentine's Day gift that you've given? 

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Ring's Fool: A Poem


She owns this mood ring
That I gave her,
Tells her how
She feels,
At whatever time
At whatever moment.

When she’s in love
It blushes
And turns magenta,
When she’s anxious
The color disappears
And it turns dark,
When relaxed,
It mimics the blue sky,
When she’s stressed or strained,
Green and yellow sometimes,
Unsettled,
It switches to orange
She’s a rainbow of emotions,
But she’s too focused on it,
Glued
With eyes of curiosity,
She can’t help but stare at it now,
Focused and frozen
With that thing
With that metal ring
On her finger,
Rather than telling her how she feels
She feels whatever it tells her.

The color of the damn ring says blue,
So she remains calm and cool
Doesn’t have a care in the world
And her head is always in the same colored sky
Until it turns green or yellow,
Then,
She can’t help but fall,
She can’t stand tall
Because of all the pressure
That the ring had given her.

She says she’s in love
But is that really true
Or is it because she’s the ring’s fool?
Is the ring making her fall for the right guy
Or is it all in her mind?

I couldn’t stand seeing her like this
Couldn’t stand seeing her so focused
On a thermometer
With color dye in it.
Her eyes were like marbles
Full of the same color of the ring,
When I tore it off her fingers
She screamed
For me to give it back,
The color in the ring disappeared,
Turned black
For it’s owner was gone,
I told her that I would replace it
Give her another gift
As I chucked it into the ocean.

And I handed her a necklace
With the yin-yang symbol on it,
“Balance
Is what you need
Rather than that stupid ring.”
She smiled and knew that I truly cared
And I no longer could read her emotions
Like I wish I did before
But neither could she.

That’s what our love is
An array of feelings
Not even we
Could read.

Have you ever been obsessed with something?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Mental Snack (50)



Share your thoughts...


"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak.  Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go." ~ Author Unknown


What's one thing that you gave up and are proud of giving up? What was the reason? How did you feel after? 

Monday, February 7, 2011

The Friend: A Poem

Right now,
I wish I can be with you
As soon as possible,
Feel your touch against my skin,
Hear your heavy, warm breathing near my ear,
See those dark eyes that have a tiny glimmer of white
And run my fingers through your crimson hair,
But, I can’t.

I have to withstand,
I have to hold restraints,
Close the gates
To my heart,
Not letting anyone,
Especially you,
For you are falling in love with another,
You are in love with him,
Not with me,
But, what happened to my feelings?

He treats you right
But not in the way that I would treat you,
You get into those pesky fights
But with me you never do,
So many wrongs that I hear and see,
So many rights that could be,
But, they are not.

You claim that you like him
A lot,
Claim to not care
Too much,
When he talks to other girls
And doesn’t get jealous when you talk to other guys,
Claim to love it when he holds you near,
You love his hands around your waist,
And you claim and claim,
But, there is still that feeling of doubt.

I wish to tell you my true feelings,
But I am your friend,
First and foremost
And until the very end.
And I don’t want to see you get hurt
Even though you want the experience,
You want to date,
You want relationships,
So I’ll let you take the hits,
Take all the heavy blows that he gives
With his words even though they feel like fists,
I will be the one by your side,
But, who will be by mine?

I will be that shoulder soaked with tears,
Be the friend that you’ll never fear
To come to and will always hear,
Be that friend that disregards all his dreams,
All his fantasies,
All those deep feelings that lie dormant within his heart,
But, how much would you listen to me?

So,
The next time you come to tell me something about him,
I will listen
To your whispers
And stories,
Keep the urge to silence all your ramblings
With a single kiss,
Bury that thought deep inside my mind,
I’ll listen as I lock it under lock and key,
Until you decide to move in an inch closer to me,
As the key begins to turn inside the lock
You put your hand on mine and stop
Stop everything that was happening,
Freeze time
With that single moment
With that single action
With that single kiss
On my lips
And not his,
You stopped the key from turning,
And changed it all
For the better.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

Quest(ions)


As of right now, I’m lost and confused. It mostly has to do with myself, my connections back home and in Irvine, my relationships, friendships, and everything in between. I am lost on where to go from here on out. It feels as if I walked onto a minefield and knew where all the bombs were ahead of me, but now I’m in the center of it all and I forgot where the bombs were placed. I’m scared one might just explode, probably because many already have exploded, but I survived.

Barely.

Just because I’m lost doesn’t mean I’m lost forever. A friend once told me that the best time to find one’s self is when one’s lost. The best people, the greatest leaders, the strongest survivors, were all once lost in the greatest woods of all, their own minds filled with trees that bear the fruit of doubt.

My friendships, ones that I never doubted before, I doubt them now. Are they really my friends? Am I the best friend that I can be? Do I complete them? My head spins as I think of the endless questions that I can barely answer.

My writing has sort of gone downhill during midterms week, but I’m planning on picking it up this week since the tests that eat more than lead and ink are done with. I’m going to pick up an old work of mine that was put on hiatus for a while, read it, and then finish it hopefully. Also, I’m going to attend to commenting on everyone’s blogs again too.

As for relationships, I’ve been falling in and out of crushes here and there. I thought I found the right girl for me, but turns out she’s in a world of other things.  I found out that the thing I love about a girl most is her imperfections, because in all seriousness, perfect is boring. Imperfections and insecurities are what make a person beautiful in the end. However, just because I found a few things, doesn’t mean I found them all. Finding the right person is a waiting game and so I’m going to just wait until I find myself some more.

Lastly, school has kind of been a lot of fun and a lot of chaos with homework, clubs,  class, and interviews. I’ve met a lot of new people, figured out some of the clubs I click with, drowned in homework, and got interviewed for a few jobs here and there. I survived most of what was thrown at me. Still looking for a job, classes are slightly boring and filled with reading, and the clubs can be really extreme (both in a good and in a bad way).

So, I’m still lost on what to do with everything and kind of don’t know how to react to it all, but I think I’m going to take the advice of another friend and just take it a day at a time. Step by step, I’ll remember how to get out of the minefields and the forests. I’ll survive with a few scars here and there, but survive nonetheless.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Mental Snack (49)



Share your thoughts...


"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out to others is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. 
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. 
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. 
To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, 
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, 
they forfeited their freedom. Only the person who risks can be free." ~ William Arthur Ward

What is freedom? What did you risk today? What was one of the greatest risks you made?